As my one year anniversary approaches, I realize a common factor in many of the married couples I know. In each case, these people expected their significant other to change once they got married. When will we as people understand that we do not have the power to change others. We can influence and inspire people, help them to see another prospective, but we can not change anyone. A person is not going to change in drastic ways because they said vows to you. If someone was abusive before marriage, they will still be abusive during. If they were lazy, rude, couldn't cook, didn't clean, etc. they will remain the same during and after marriage. I am very old school when it comes to my views on marriage. I believe that a woman is a better housekeeper and that every house needs a woman's touch. I believe that the man does wear the pants. I also believe in equality in the home and decisions being made together. Both partners need to be able to adjust and step up to the plate in the event that something happens such as an injury, illness or change in employment schedule. In my eyes, a marriage is a partnership between two people who care enough for each other to stay committed to each other for life. Just like any partnership there will be bumps in the road, but that commitment to the cause and the love between you helps you get through it. You both need to be able to listen. You both need to be able to openly express yourself to the other. You both need separate hobbies. You will need some time to spend away from one another. You do not have to agree on everything, but you have to agree to disagree and be able to accept the differences you have. These differences make your marriage diverse. When I said my vows, I meant every word of them and a year later I can say that due to the things I have mentioned above, I am very happy in my marriage. My marriage and my family are my top priorities in life and there is nothing that will ever change that. To anyone considering marriage, please take some time to reflect and be sure that you can live with this person forever, whether they change or stay just the same. We can't help who we love and God puts us together with people for a reason. Remember that we come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly and loving them just the same. May your marriage be blessed!
Reuniting and It Feels So......
For many years I searched for my father. I searched online, I sent emails, snail mail with pictures of myself to people that I thought could be my father. I even went as far as stopping complete strangers who resembled the picture I had of him. I put together a group of friends and we called every person with his last name in the white pages. One of the letters I sent was returned about two months later. Little did I know I would eventually meet my father at that same address. In 2004 I received a call from a very good friend telling me she had news about my father. I immediately began to tremble and asked, "Is he dead?" When Nene told me she found him, I screamed! I was so excited. This was truly a remarkable and definitely memorable moment in life. In just a matter of hours I would finally meet him. I suddenly felt complete. So, she picked me up and we headed out. We went to my grandmothers house ( the address I had previously sent a letter to)...
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