Sarah Speaks It

Its almost 2013, and I ask myself, what is the American Dream?  It's no longer what our grandparents had envisioned for us.  It no longer consists of a white picket fence and a family with a dog. So, then what is it? From what I can tell, the dream has been lost.  Young women don't know how to be a lady.  Young men no longer know what it is to be a gentlemen. Moral values are lacking.  Family values are nearly non existent. Women are now the bread winners and dads are staying at home.  Although we as a people have progressed, we have lost so much of what makes us a great country. We all just want more. Very few people think about the future, and live for the present.  So what is your American dream?

There are some people that we love unconditionally.  No matter what they do, how many times they hurt you, how many mistakes they make, how much pain you have been caused, how much it affects your life, you will always love them.  This is true of parents, siblings, relatives, and should also be true of your spouse. We are taught to love our family members no matter what faces you, no matter what happens. It honestly irks my soul that I can still have so much love for someone simply because I'm suppose to. So many people have hurt me, have affected not only my attitude, but my way of life, my soul. And, yet I still love those people with every breathe I take. I guess some things are not meant to be understood. But lets talk about those we choose to love unconditionally, our spouses. When we decided to commit our lives to a person, we commit to love them through all things. Sickness and health, better and worse, rich and poor, lies and deceit, forgiveness and pain. We make that consc

Sometimes I feel like love isn't enough. I look into your soul I see pain and suffering Anger and evil But through it all I see your heart I see the good, I see the bad I always have. My question is why can't you open up to me? You call it gay I call it emotionally free One day you have to let it out One day you're gonna let me see What it is that aches you And keeps you from me Love isn't enough Transparency is what we need Communication is key We must talk we must be free To understand the others walk No secrets and no fear Isn't that the point of being here? Vows say for better or worse I'm here to stick it out But let's be clear Love simply isn't enough You must respect me Treat me right and let our daughters see What it is to be happily married. Love simply isn't enough for me.

My eyes fill with tears as my struggle overwhelms me.I look in the mirror, but my soul is empty.I must find a way, I must find the strength.I know the solution lies within me.Beneath the skin below my soul.In a dark place that only I know.It's where my pain fuels my success.It's where my determination rests.I've got to dig deep to reach this place .So I'm going to start doing so to bring .A smile back to my face.Sacrifices must be made.

O Angel of mine As your beauty prevails You shall remain As your love continually hails O Beauteous woman you shared so much You healed so many With your loving touch O loving Grandmother Caregiver of all You are always there Whenever we shall call A creative woman You always were You showed us soWhile here on Earth A mother you were A grandmother you are Still in our hearts You remain a star An angel you were In physical life An angel you remain In spiritual light An angel you were Here on Earth An Angel you are Guiding us first. In loving Memory of Carole J. Dickerson.

Life as I know it So sweet, yet crazy Is this normal? For me, yes, maybe My mother, she works But at night she changes She drowns her life away No matter how seemingly dangerous My little sister so beautiful and strong Her emotions leak through in song My baby girl So sweet and innocent Doesn't understand Her mother so indecent And I, Sad but strong Here for everyone Yet secretly I continue falling on my own i sit and wonder when can I be weak? When will you hold me And let me fall meek? I guess for now Strong, I must hold For the need me more Than you could ever be told This is my life I live it each day All these events Paving my way. written 3/3/2005

Its one of those days Sorry to say It's one of those days Filled with dismay It's one of those days I miss you endlessly it's one of those days please, visit me It's one of those days You're affecting my heart It's one of those days It's tearing me apart It's one of those days Again, I am alone It's one of those days I just sit at home It's one of those days My bed is empty It's one of those days Sorrow was sent to me It's one of those days Quite unnecessary It's one of those days I know you care about me It's one of tose days I just cant help It's one of those days My heart has a welt It's one of those days Knowing you are there It's one of those days Still wishing you here It's one of those days Wishing upon a star Its one of those days Wondering where you are It's one of those days Crying at night It's one of those days I can't fight. Written 1-21-200

You make me feel Some kind of way The warmth of your soul Brings me a smile And fills me with joy Your friendship is everlasting Unconditional and true I wish I could be the same to you Unfortunately the circumstances Don’t allow so, however, There’s something you should know. You will always have a special place in my heart In my mind, and in my soul. I will never forget that you were there A shoulder to cry on, when I needed an ear. Thank you for always being here I love that we can pick up Like nothing has changed Our connection always remains You make me feel some kind of way.  

As I walk through the valley of life I discover shadows hidden beneath smiles I discover strife hidden by success Although I know, I do not believe Believe there is total joy to be found Believe I am the prettiest around Believe that it will be okay Believe that I will find my way I cannot figure out why I feel this I cannot fathom being so lost I can only pray that I will soon find my path My path to true happiness My path to joy My path to a real family My path to unconditional love My path to life As I walk through the valley of the shadows of life I realize that even the strongest can break It is time for me to let go Let go of the pain Let go of the strain Move on to higher healing Move on to higher feeling As I walk through the valley of life I walk through shadows yet to be conquered I walk through challenges yet to be met As I walk through the valley of life I continue to grow, I continue to learn That through all pain there is glory I will overcome

Children deserve the world, but they have basic minimums that should be met.  Every child deserves a loving mother and father. Every child is entitled to love from both parents.  There are so many little ones being raised by single parents, and quite frankly, it's disturbing.  I understand that sometimes circumstances are beyond our control, but I also believe that as a parent we should do everything possible to avoid this situation.  Now, I'm not saying that you need to be married to raise your children.  I'm saying that mothers and fathers both have very critical roles in a child's life and living without one can cause life long emotional damage. A little girl who grows up without a father will always have issues with men.  She'll never feel safe, she will struggle with trusting them, and/or she will be so happy to have their attention that they stray down the wrong path of filling that void with sex. A young boy without a father will struggle to find his purpose

Change is inevitable. It is all around us at every moment. It is up to us to embrace the change and try to make it positive. Not all change will feel good, but I truly believe everything happens for a reason, even if only to make you stronger. Loss of a job, a loved one or a relationship is undoubtedly going to hurt. You have to look at the situation and evaluate the pros and cons. Remember that when one door closes another opens. It's simply up to you to walk through it. Not all change is positive. A downward spiral into an addiction, for instance, is change for the worse. I guess my point is to embrace change and allow it to help you with your upper mobility in life. It can always get worse, so take it for what it is and run through that newly opened door!

It's one of those days It's one of those nights I just won't be able To sleep tight It's one of those days I miss you so I just wish This pain would go It's one of those days My feelings all built up Why must they hide Like a scared little pup? It's one of those days I love you crazy And I'm so glad You are my baby It's one of those days What do I do? I'm dying over here Without you It's one of those days My heart just hurts Why won't it stop? It just gets worse It's one of those days Again, with out you Holding me, touching me Do you miss it too? It's one of those days Full of emotion Crying tonight Cause I'm under a love potion It's one of those days Please understand That without you I'm shelled like a clam

My heart has never grown cold Seeing you is like a dream retold The sparkle in your eye Gave me belonging beyond deny. The warmth of your hold Began to fill a giant hole The comfort of you Gave me a feeling so true. Lying here in a state of awe Still so happy she made the call Although so surreal it seems This is truly a coming of my dreams. So many days, so many years the unknown created too many tears So much pain, so much sorrow Each tear flowing towards a brighter tomorrow. Looking, I did so much Yet I couldn't get in touch Then with the press of a button I have a father, all so sudden. My heart beats uncontrollably Everyone so happy for me My mind lost in a state of joy I now wear a smile every day.

As the days go by I search within And finally I realize I belong with him He who has been here all along The one who knows my depth The true tune of my hearts song With him, I belong He who holds me Close through the night Keeps me warm And safe from the worlds fright He has given me strength Power to succeed The power to overcome Everything from deep within As I search deep within Each and every day And I finally realize He is the man for me

Here I stand to love you Arms wide open Waiting for your embrace Waiting for my knees to get weak Sheer happiness Is what I wish for you Pure love What I give you Then my thoughts drift... Do you love love me too? the same as I do you? Your love is strange Different to me at least Bold yet unknown Your touch, far from sensual Your kiss, unpassionate Your eyes, unengaged So, how do I know you love me? I ask myself everyday Is it because you come home to me? Or simply just because you're here? Is it your interactions? You seem to care more for others Than you do for me So again  I ask How do I know? Still unsure I say because I love you Love is never wrong The heart stays where it belongs Here I stand to love you Arms wide open.

You used to be so conservative and shy You never really said a word Now that your self esteem is high You make sure you are always heard. You used to be so worried and scared Always afraid of what happens next It came to the point that your eyes always seemed teared But yet you conquered all of life's little tests. You were always there to lend an ear But still always looked for someone to listen to you Your friends always counted on you to be there But you needed someone to walk with you. Friends and family always counted on you to be strong When times were bad you were always there They knew you would always hold on You looked after everyone with such care

Through the nights I cry Though the stars shine bright These feelings not new Yet I can not fight My heart yearns It beats in pain What I feel tonight Is so inhumane I miss you so Your touch, your feel Your heart against mine A love that truly kills Your mind, your soul Your body, Your heart All a part of me From the very start True love succeeds If just through mail My heart, yours forever Through this, our love prevails Your life and mine Go hand in hand Without you, Lonely I am Words can not display My love for you My heart, my soul Shall be forever true. Written October 2, 2004

As the sun shines through I begin to wonder What should I do? Shopuld I stay and endure the pain? Should I go away from the inclement rains? Should I stay and make my eyes seem blind? Blind to the nightmares of my once stable mind? Blind to the heartache inclined? Blind to teh one who gave me life? The one who was once The hero of my dreams? Blind to it all? Blind although my heart calls? Written July 8, 2004

Body wet, slip n slide Too damn hot With you inside Heart racing Out of control My body leaning towards That one big O Hands caress my body all over Lips touch my neck Bed soak in a deep sweat Too hot inside this place You found my spot Discovered some new desire Your sweet loving Ignited my fire

I see too often that too many people expect too much at the start of a relationship. We make lists, set criteria, and if that person doesn't meet your list, you push them away. I'm not saying that anyone should lower their standards, but I do want you to understand that relationships are about compromise. You must learn to love an imperfect person perfectly. Everyone has flaws, strengths, and weaknesses. Each of us has areas in which we need to grow. Once you can see who that person really is and you can accept their imperfections, you grow to love them more. I believe that we are overly focused on long term commitment, marriage, and stability at the beginning of relationships and that can contribute to its early demise. You have to give it time to blossom like a plant in your garden. It needs to be nurtured, loved, and tended to. The more you put in , the more you get out. Get to truly know a person, get to understand their heart, soul, and desires. Learn to enjoy the present

This weekend I spent a night with some wonderful women. Through our conversations, I became inspired to write about risking something in an attempt to gain something great. One of the ladies has an interest in this man, but she's so nervous about making the first mood that she is holding her happiness hostage. You have to be willing to take a risk to gain a reward. The worst thing that can happen is rejection. Maybe that's the true fear that holds people back. I feel that even if you are rejected you conquered your fear and can do it again in the future. Ladies take the first step.