Gut wrenching, soul shaking

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My soul shakes everytime i see it
My heart aches with every kiss
Comfort found in those eyes
Our souls connected
And pain still lies
In the depth of my heart
The abyss of my soul
My mind says yes
But my heart says hold
Don't want to be selfish
But I must be heard
My gut wrenches with each hit on the wall
Unable to find peace with it
Even though I see joy in your eyes
I want you to be happy
I don't know that you’ll ever understand
That I'm fearful because of the past
There's been a lot of pain
It has simply festered inside
I push along with the strength of a queen
But when my soul is shaken
It surfaces with a sickness
I can't control the words, emotions, or tears
They flow like a hurricane
As my gut wrenches and turns in circles
All of this and I’m still exhilarated
Im anxious to see where this goes
I enjoy the moments when we’re together
I crave that feeling more and more
Tell me what to do
Help me understand
This slur of emotions has me going crazy
I just need to know it'll be ok
I need to know i will not be forsaken
Words will not do
Intimacy is the key, I think
Something I’m not sure i’ll get from you
This is all so hard, but so new
I want to keep trying for you
Please be patient
I dont know how to handle this
Gut wrenching
Soul shaking
Faith testing
Trust proving
Exhilarating
Joy bringing
Pain surfacing
Growth causing
Love

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